How do you eat a baguette ?

If it ain't Kitesurfing, it goes in here!
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waverider
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Sun Jul 10, 2011 5:54 pm

On some stuff I'm always going to be streets ahead of you bunch, then you have to consider my isolation.

I'm OK at a collar and tie do apart from the fact I look a twerp in a suit, I can eat in restaurant without making a fool of myself and I know what wine I like.

I'm almost departing for this years Scottyland tour, my partner has already earmarked some fairly posh (No flip-flops) places to eat and whilst I'm OK and confident with that my recent experience with what is known in the USA as a 'Sub'. or in the UK amongst those who're not Americanised, a filled baguette.

Whats the etiquette for eating one of these ?

I remember a few years back I'm in a diner on route 13 on the eastern shore of Virginia which is farming/fishing community, I chose spider-crab. You only eat the legs and however you eat them it's messy. The waiter rigged me up with a massive bib and some goggles like I was going to ride a motorbike, nutcrackers and pointy things and lots of towels together with a bowl of warm water for dipping my hands. It was tasty and messy though after they peeled all the protective gear away I was clean and sparkling.

Not so with a delicious foot long crab baguette with sundry salad filling and bursting. By the time I'd eaten it people were staring at me, it took me a few minutes to eat what was all over my face and in my lap but all I had was the one paper towel.

I didn't need a shower though a face-wash would have given me confidence.

Is it me ?
D3.
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Sun Jul 10, 2011 7:26 pm

Must be! :lol:
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waverider
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Mon Jul 11, 2011 2:13 pm

It must be me.

You can't eat them like a sandwich. sandwiches have a top and bottom to hold everything in so you only have to worry about what falls out the edges. Hold it up to your mouth and eat away, no problems.

With a baguette you have to hold it with the slit at the top to stop everything falling out, then there are only two choices to eat the bugger. Nibble away along the slit and end up with a length of baguette with nothing on it or stand up, tilt your head to one side and start at one end but with this method you always get half the contents smeared over your high-side cheek. With the first method you get contents on both cheeks and all over your chin.

I bet the French started this mallarky.
alicejoseph
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Wed Jun 05, 2013 8:42 am

The best way to eat a baguette is whatever way you wish.I'm a big fan of a little butter or olive oil on a baguette, but I also like them plain.
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waverider
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Wed Jun 05, 2013 9:20 am

At least you have enough sense-of-humour to contribute to what is a ridiculous thread for a kiteboarding forum. It's no wonder they 'don't get it' when Graeme throws one into the pot.

I'm best sticking to myself and avoiding people that stare at my jokes, on the few occasions I visit a town or city people stare at me and swerve to avoid eye contact because I said, "Hello".

I'm happy that my home is a sanatorium.

You ever been to Brighton ? or maybe Southend ? :lol:
southseasailor
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Thu Jan 02, 2014 9:02 pm

Bloody spam...

Over in Chile (which is an hour and a half away by jet for me) they have the 'Completo' which is a large hotdog type dish, filled to bursting with tomatoes and 'Palta' (avocado, pureed) the whole thing is served on this impossibly small plastic holder. I haven't quite managed to eat one yet without looking like a total mess. Very tasty though and goes well with a 'Chop' (pronounced 'shop') or two (large serving of lager)
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waverider
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Fri Jan 03, 2014 8:19 am

southseasailor wrote:Bloody spam...
:-D

Thanks, and just at a time I needed help. Only last night I prepared a load of fried onion for one of my great culinary treats. Frankfurter with masses of onion and mustard inside a demi-bagguette. After eating two there was a meal left behind on my face.

Oh-yes, and........................

I've taken to reading the Daily Mail after being accused of being, "A Daily Mail reader". I'm not quite sure what to say other than they have the best APP of any newspaper and tend to elaborate on the unnecessary.

So-what ?
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